


'til all my sleeves are stained red (from all the truth that I've said)

by holtzbabe



Category: The Spy Who Dumped Me (2018)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-24
Updated: 2018-09-24
Packaged: 2019-07-16 06:24:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,143
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16080299
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/holtzbabe/pseuds/holtzbabe
Summary: Morgan and Audrey don’t keep secrets from one another. It’s their credo, the foundation of their entire friendship. No secrets. They tell each other everything. They know everything there is to know about one another. They’re best friends.Except—Except that there’s something that Audrey doesn’t know. Something important.





	'til all my sleeves are stained red (from all the truth that I've said)

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first time writing for a fandom that's not Ghostbusters (thanks, Kate McKinnon, for driving me to this) and I don't know how I feel about it. Hopefully someone else but me is into this ship and actually reads this? Also, warning that this is spoilery for the movie if you haven't seen it yet!

Morgan and Audrey don’t keep secrets from one another. It’s their credo, the foundation of their entire friendship. No secrets. They tell each other everything. They know everything there is to know about one another. They’re _best friends._

Except—

Except that there’s something that Audrey doesn’t know. Something important.

Morgan has told her parents—of course she has, she tells them everything—but she hasn’t told Audrey. The strangest part is that she doesn’t know why.

Maybe it’s because she thinks Audrey probably knows already.

Maybe it’s because it’s not that big of a deal.

Or maybe she’s a coward and would rather put on a show than let her most vulnerable truths come out. The truths that even she doesn’t want to confront.

She comes dangerously close to lying to Audrey on many occasions. Dancing around the topic with half-truths, lying-by-omission. She makes it clear that she’s not interested in any of the men who pursue her, and she leaves it at that.

Audrey runs a hand through Morgan’s hair while they watch Netflix in their pajamas. “None of them are good enough for you anyway, Morgan,” she says.

Maybe it’s true.

/

She’s a little much.

That’s what Drew tells her the first time she meets him.

He’s not the first. Not the tenth. Not the fiftieth. And not the last.

She’s a little much.

Maybe that’s true, too.

/

She’s jealous of Audrey’s boyfriends. Painfully so.

She never lets it show. If Audrey’s happy, she’s happy. End of story.

She squeals with her and pores over texts with her and waltzes the two of them around the living room in celebration and listens to every last detail about Audrey’s romantic life. She’s her best friend, and to see her happy, excited, in love—the elation Morgan feels for her may be singed around the edges by the pain, but it’s still genuine.

None of the guys Audrey dates are good enough for her, either. Not even close. Morgan never tells her that until after they’ve broken up. After Audrey has cried her tears. After Morgan has thrown a rock through the window of a douchebag’s car or peed on his front steps. After Audrey has said “fuck men,” and Morgan has a tiny, fleeting moment where she can dream.

/

Morgan takes great pleasure in burning Drew’s shit—less pleasure in getting shot at as a result of his secret profession.

She throws a naked man off their balcony. It kind of feels like maybe she was destined to do it.

Spies, assassins, secret missions to go to Austria and deliver 2nd place fantasy football trophies—

It’s a little much, she thinks.

Then again, so is she.

/

Audrey sits in the window seat on the plane and leans her head against the window. Morgan watches her without watching her.

Asshole or not, shitty breakup or not, a man that Audrey loved is dead. Shot to death in front of them.

Morgan leans her head against Audrey like a domino. She already knew she’d do anything for her, no questions asked—but now she knows without a doubt that she’ll really do _anything._ She’ll go to the ends of the earth for Audrey. She’ll go to Vienna to give a trophy to some stranger. She’ll kill a man. She’ll risk her own life to give Audrey the closure she needs.

Sure, the world might be at stake as well. Maybe she’ll save a few lives in the process.

But she’s doing this for Audrey—make no mistake about it.

/

They’re being tortured, literally tortured, and trying to prove they’re not lying by spilling everything they know about each other—and all that’s going through Morgan’s head is that Audrey is going to die thinking that there are no secrets between them. That she knows everything there is to know about Morgan.

Morgan vows to herself that if they make it out of this alive, she’s telling her.

If she makes it out of this without losing Audrey, she’s telling her.

/

Morgan can see the way Audrey looks at their rescuer. Sebastian. It’s the same way she looked at Drew.

It’s the same way Morgan looks at her.

/

She’s always had a thing for powerful women.

When she was in college, she fell hard for the professor of the first Women’s Studies class she ever took. The course was her first real foray into feminism—and lesbianism, coincidentally. Both were concepts her parents had introduced her to, but that’s when she learned how to apply them in her life.

She slept with the professor after the semester was over. Audrey doesn’t know about that, either—although, they were only just becoming friends at the time, so that’s not entirely Morgan’s fault.

It’s hard to keep herself from fawning all over Sebastian’s boss—not that she really tries to tone it down. She doesn’t care if she makes a fool of herself, but there’s a little voice in the back of her head that reminds her it might be a little much.

There’s another little voice that says she’s being too obvious. That Audrey will put two-and-two together if she hasn’t already. That she’ll _know_.

It’s always been that way.

She wonders if there will ever be a time when she won’t self-police her behavior. A time when she won’t feel everyone’s judgement clinging to her like humid air. A time when she’ll be able to breathe freely.

/

She sits in the back seat of the car as Sebastian drives them back to the airport and only half-listens to his and Audrey’s chatter.

She was going to tell Audrey the second they had some time alone—at the airport, maybe, or on the plane home. She’s always found planes oddly intimate. A good place to share secrets.

But as they drive and the adrenaline of the past few days begins to fade, so does her resolve. They’re flying back to their lives in LA—no more high-speed car chases or shootouts or international spy operations. No more of this feeling that they can be anything and do anything that they want.

Back in LA, they’re going to have to face the ramifications of everything they’ve done—and that includes whatever Morgan decides to tell Audrey.

She’s pulled from her thoughts when she learns that they don’t have to go back to their lives just yet.

She’s still got time.

/

By the time they’ve left the hostel, Morgan can tell that something has shifted between Audrey and Sebastian.

Maybe she doesn’t that much time after all.

/

She likes being Bill.

For half an hour, she gets to pretend. She gets to wear a suit. She gets to have a wife and kids at home. She gets to wonder what it would be like if she had the life she wants.

The Canadian ambassadors ask what her wife’s name is. _Audrey_ slips from her tongue before she can stop herself.

Audrey—Audrey who gets a certain look in her eyes when she sees Morgan in the suit for the first time. The same look she gets when Morgan talks sometimes. When she might be saying a little too much. When it might be too obvious.

Maybe it’s realization.

/

They’re dyeing their hair.

They’re dyeing their hair, and they’re alone for the first time in what feels like forever.

Morgan combs her fingers through Audrey’s hair to apply her dye, and her throat aches.

She means it when she says that this has been the best week of her life, but she doesn’t mean to let it slip that it’s because she usually feels judged. That the only people who don’t think she’s a little much are her parents and Audrey.

Audrey says that she’s not a little much—everybody else is boring. Morgan doesn’t know if that’s true, but Audrey seems to genuinely believe it.

She swallows and nods, avoiding Audrey’s eyes.

“Audrey?” she says in a very small voice. “There’s something I need to tell you.”

Audrey stares deep into her soul with those all-knowing eyes of hers, and Morgan thinks that maybe she does know. Maybe.

“I’m gay,” she continues before she can talk herself out of it. “I’m sorry I kept it a secret until now. I just—didn’t know how to tell you. I was scared.”

Audrey’s face softens. “I’m so proud of you.”

“You’re not mad that I broke our sacred bond of trust?”

“Of course not.” Audrey pulls her into a tight embrace. “I love you so much, Morgan.”

Morgan inhales the scent of bleach. “I love you, too,” she says, and Audrey will never know the truth of it. Maybe some secrets are secrets for a reason. She grips her even tighter. “So please don’t die tonight.”

Audrey echoes the sentiment, and Morgan sends a bargain out into the universe:

If only one of them can make it out of tonight alive, Morgan will trade her life for Audrey’s any day of the week.

/

Morgan only has seconds to soak in the applause after her personal Cirque victory before she registers the fact that Audrey’s voice isn’t coming through her earpiece any more.

She runs.

/

As she creeps down the hallway to the artillery room and takes in the scene in front of her, hidden from view, her mind is only focussed on one thing.

She doesn’t care what happens to Drew. She doesn’t care what happens to Sebastian. She doesn’t care what happens to the terrorists.

But she’ll be damned before she lets anything happen to Audrey. As she pries at the weapons on display to find something to use, she’s poised, ready to jump in front of a bullet if she has to.

She listens to the two men parrot each other, both trying to convince Audrey that the other is the bad guy. That they’re the one to be trusted, not the other.

Audrey pivots on her heel and catches a glimpse of Morgan. Her eyes are only on her for a fleeting second, but when she looks away, it’s obvious she’s recalculating.

“I don’t trust either of you,” Audrey says with slow realization.

Drew tilts his head. “Audrey…”

“No, shut up,” she says. “There’s only one person that I trust.”

“Is it yourself?” Sebastian says. “That’s a little clichéd.”

Audrey swings her gaze back to Morgan. “Nah,” she says, the corner of her mouth ticking.

Both men turn to look. Morgan has finally pried a rifle off one of the mannequins and stood.

“Hello, boys,” she says.

“Oh, Morgan,” Drew says with disappointment, “always so dramatic.”

He reaches behind his jacket for his gun, but Audrey’s faster. She tackles him to the ground and wrestles it from his grasp.

Morgan charges Sebastian with her rifle, and he doesn’t even move, just laughs.

“You really think that’s loaded?”

“Get a load of this,” she says, and decks him in the head with the barrel. He crumples, and she slings the gun over her shoulder in satisfaction.

There are sirens getting closer. Audrey is standing over Drew, pointing his gun at him.

Morgan has never been more attracted to her.

As the police drag both men away, the two of them walk unscathed from the scene, arm-in-arm. Morgan sneaks a sideways glance and smile at Audrey, and Audrey does the same.

She could get used to this life.

/

They stand looking out at the canal, arms around each other. Audrey leans her head against Morgan’s shoulder.

This is it. Morgan’s last shot.

She readies herself. Readies herself for change. For rejection. For vulnerability.

“Can I tell you something?” Audrey says before Morgan even opens her mouth.

“Always,” she says.

Audrey studies her for a moment.

Then, before Morgan can process what is happening, Audrey has dipped her head slightly and is kissing her.

Audrey.

Is kissing her.

It only lasts a second or two. It feels like forever. It feels like no time at all.

“I am so sorry,” Audrey says instantly.

Morgan’s head is spinning. She’s out of breath, somehow. She feels like the universe is colliding in her brain.

“Was that the something you wanted to tell me?”

“I guess so,” Audrey says with a nervous laugh.

“I was kinda about to tell you the same thing.”

“Really?”

Morgan reaches to touch Audrey’s face with her fingertips. “You have no idea,” she says, “how long I’ve been dreaming about that happening. Just ask my mom.”

“You’re ridiculous,” Audrey says. She bites her lip. “I meant what I said in there. They wanted me to choose—I choose you, Morgan. Any day of the week.”

Morgan doesn’t know what to say to that, so she just finds Audrey’s hand and squeezes it.

_Love you_ , Audrey mouths.

Morgan leans in to kiss her again.

Oh yes—she could get used to this life, alright.

No doubt about it.

 

**Author's Note:**

> [Let's be friends?](http://jillbert.tumblr.com)


End file.
